http://achristianwalkinfaith.wordpress.com/2013/07/30/intimacy-in-a-marriage/
Christian Blog
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Monday, July 22, 2013
The Blame Game In A Marriage
When a husband blames his wife for everything, this is not a sign of a
healthy marriage, or a healthy man. This is a man who fails to take
responsibility for himself. By blaming his wife, he doesn’t have to.
If he fails to make enough money to pay the bills, it’s her fault
because she got pregnant, spent too much money on frivolous things (such
as food for the family), or some other failing of hers. He may even go
so far as to tell her that she is “holding him back.”
This can also be a sign that there is the potential for physical violence. If everything is her fault, then it stands to reason that it’s her fault if he hits her. By the time it reaches that point, her self-esteem is often so low that she is afraid to leave him. She “knows” she can’t make it on her own, because he told her so. He knows she could, but won’t tell her that because he doesn’t want to lose that feeling of superiority and control. He may not even hit her a lot. It may just be veiled threats, such as, “I won’t be responsible for what happens if you don’t do what I say.”
No matter what, if you are being blamed by your husband for everything wrong with your relationship, it may be time to think about leaving. Get out while you can, and still have your self-esteem mostly intact. Most of all, remember that it’s not your fault.
The above article is from Helium. after reading this article my response to it is this.. It takes two people to make any type of a relationship work. One person cant just be in the wrong all the time. When your spouse is determined to not take responsibility then they are choosing to be disobedient to God. The blame game is childish and will destroy the relationship. Marriage is about two people trying to meet each others needs and desires. Not one who wants to manipulate the situation by blaming the other all the time just to make themselves feel better. This is not having a Christ like heart. It doesn’t glorify God. We are not to be self indulged in ourselves and putting fault on the other person instead of seeking to look within is like saying your perfect.
http://achristianwalkinfaith.wordpress.com/
Basically, a man who does this is controlling and manipulative.
With enough of this blaming, he may eventually get her to start blaming
herself for everything that goes wrong. This is when he is really in
control. He may walk out the door, slamming it and saying, “if you
don’t know what you did wrong, I’m not going to tell you.” This is
actually code for, “you did nothing wrong, but if I yell loudly enough,
you’ll invent something that’s better than anything I can come up with
right now.” While this may seem funny in retrospect, being in the
middle of it leaves you confused and hurt.
This is a man who needs to feel superior to his wife. If she is more
successful in her career than he is, it’s because he helped her to get
ahead. He won’t give her any credit for being competent enough to do
well on her own. If she is better at anything than he is, he does his
best to convince her that she’s not. He can convince her that she is
incompetent and needs him to survive. In this way, he hopes to keep her
under his thumb. This may work for a while, but usually something will
happen that makes her realize she doesn’t have to live a life of
oppression, and he will lose her.This can also be a sign that there is the potential for physical violence. If everything is her fault, then it stands to reason that it’s her fault if he hits her. By the time it reaches that point, her self-esteem is often so low that she is afraid to leave him. She “knows” she can’t make it on her own, because he told her so. He knows she could, but won’t tell her that because he doesn’t want to lose that feeling of superiority and control. He may not even hit her a lot. It may just be veiled threats, such as, “I won’t be responsible for what happens if you don’t do what I say.”
No matter what, if you are being blamed by your husband for everything wrong with your relationship, it may be time to think about leaving. Get out while you can, and still have your self-esteem mostly intact. Most of all, remember that it’s not your fault.
The above article is from Helium. after reading this article my response to it is this.. It takes two people to make any type of a relationship work. One person cant just be in the wrong all the time. When your spouse is determined to not take responsibility then they are choosing to be disobedient to God. The blame game is childish and will destroy the relationship. Marriage is about two people trying to meet each others needs and desires. Not one who wants to manipulate the situation by blaming the other all the time just to make themselves feel better. This is not having a Christ like heart. It doesn’t glorify God. We are not to be self indulged in ourselves and putting fault on the other person instead of seeking to look within is like saying your perfect.
http://achristianwalkinfaith.wordpress.com/
Saturday, July 13, 2013
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